i am back.

yes. i'm back and now i will blog EVERY single day!! I've been feeling down lately ever since i watched that wongfu video about "strangers again" ...it made me think alot. so much. and i cried when watching it too. because the video can related to everyone when they're in a relationship, there are many stages, the first will always be happy and so much love, then it slowly begin to fade away and do your own things. and in between, you will always have your fight. Anyways thats not the reason why i was feeling down....COINCIDENTLY his name is "Josh" too!!! and it just made me cry even HARDER!! cuz he and i do always fight alot, most of you know and i told you guys before, sometimes we never had a normal conversation with out arguing with each other and we never break up, we just ignore each other for a while and take a break. And that day, he watched it too, and he went online and showed me the video and hes like watch it. and i was like i already did. then he was silent for at least 20 mins. and he finally say something, "lets not fight anymore, i dont want us to be like this" ...from that moment i dont know if i'm suppose to be happy or sad..then he went on saying "i've had this happen to me alot, and i dont want it to happen again, and it sometimes made me think that i shouldnt get a gf" then i was sad and did not talk at all, because he went on talking about his ex. Then he keep texting me to ask if i were okay, i didnt tell him whats wrong i just told him not to worry about it. and hes like "its because of what i said right?..i'm sorry, i've over it already" :] well anyways...i know this doesnt make sense LOOL I'M not making any sense now, i'm falling asleep from doing all those math homeworks LOL ahhhh!!! so blogging is my break time :] hehe

and another story that bothers me the most...and it also related to this.
sorry i havent been telling you guys about whats happening at school. recently theres this guy in my math class...he ALWAYS talks to me, and he would ALWAYS text me like 24/7, i'm not even kidding, its like he doesnt even sleep!!! and he told me he likes me, he knows that i have a boyfriend, cuz i always talk about him, and he said he doesn't care!! o.O what does that mean?!!?!? and to be honest, i think i'm slowly starting to fall for him too...ahhhhhh what the heckkk am i doing!?!? i dont cheat, and never plan to cheat and never want to. but i really don't know what to do. i didnt tell you guys earlier cuz i didnt want you guys to think i'm a cheater, i'm really not!! but i feel like what i'm doing is wrong, cuz the way he talks, it makes me want to flirt, its tempting me to flirt with him, cuz hes a sweet guy!!! to be honest, the SWEETEST GUY i've ever met, and the nicest too. and he actually cares about me EVEN more than my boyfriend~!! and i really dont wanna hurt them both :[ what should i do?!!?

I miss you :]

To my two wonderful friend: Amy and Pearl!! I miss you guys soooooo much! and i havent hang out w/ you guys for a super SUPER long time now...since spring semester start. i have my class, you have yours, our schedule does not match. :[ i hope we can catch up one day again!!! and for some reason, my phone is being retarded -___- it sometimes dont recieve texts, but don't worry i'm getting a new phone...probably next month? :] YEEEUHHH!! HTC INSPIRE!! :] and i hope we can all hang out again to make up for my bday hang out :] since you guys couldnt come :'[

Questions.

so most of you knows he's always making me sad, and you ALWAYS ask, "so why do you love him karen?" ...and i always say, i just do, i cant explain it...and well here it is:

"love isnt when you can name a million things you love about the person"..."it is when you CAN'T even find a words to describe how you feel about them" :]

so if YOU can say reasons why you LOVE that person, then you dont really love them truly...

you can only love them, because there are many things you cant describe or say WHY you love them, you just do, its a special feelings you feel inside when you see him/her.

Love/ Hate relationship

So I am pretty sure we are in a "love/hate" relationship. why? well look at it this way, our conversation everday always ended up arguing and fighting, then it eventually....SLOWLY go back to "aww i'm sorry, i love you" . and this picture explains us PERFECTLY!!

My 19th~ and my little boy.

First of all, thanks EVERYONE for coming :] i was REALLY happy when i see you guys, it just reminds me back in the days in high school where i can see all my friends. but even tho i know some of you cannot make it, but it's okay. THERE'S still time :] and i realized i havent been blogging for a long time. sorry. i did not have time to do it, i've been feeling eeither sad or just dont feel good or sick. i've been getting yucky germs this past month.

• haha. so on to the "sad/pissed/mad" part...lol sorry cindy i was gonna tell you that day, but ehh i cant say it in person cuz i'll cuss the WHOLE time!!! cuz it makes me SOO MAD!! so here it is: So WHO KNOWS THIS GUY CAN BE SO KIDDY!! he always have to pick a fight with me, doesnt matter how STUPID it is! i ALWAYS have to say sorry, even tho hes wrong. and i dont mind saying sorry cuz i told myself..would i rather wait until he say hes sorry which takes him FOREVER to realize hes wrong and he wont talk to me. OR would i rather say SORRY and he'll talk to me again?...and i know we had our "little" break EVERY TIME!! its almost like every single day when we talk we'll always end up fighting and arguing....DUDE WHY!?!? WHAT.THE.HELL!?!?!? and this guy...or should i say LITTLE BOY, LOVES KEROPPI ....AND APPARENTLY......MORE THAN HIS GIRLFRIEND!! DUDE WHATTHEFUCCCKKK?? so heres the story of our "little" fight.

• we were talking like always...and he wanted to take me out that day, but i cant go out!! cuz according to my dad, i went out too much these days, so he wants me to stay home that day. then he start getting all like "WHAT.THE.HELL!! YOU NEVER HAVE TIME FOR ME".....dude CHILL OUT! I HAVE FUCKING SCHOOL! AND YOU DONT, SO I HAVE TO STUDY AND HOMEWORKING!! -___- and HE IS ALWAYS QUIET when we go out..like i gotta keep talking and talking. and i am TIRED OF IT! i've been holding it for a long time!!! its been 4 FUHREAKIN MONTHS! if you're shy...then WHAT.THE.HECK!! 4 MONTHS and still shy!? its not the first time we went out together wtf!?. and so i couldnt hold it in anymore and told him and ask him why hes always so quiet. and he CHANGED THE SUBJECT guess what he says?! "keroppi watch?? :]" ........okay dude WHAT.THE.HECK!? DONT CHANGE THE FUCKING SUBJECT!! so i was like ...what? dont TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT..and hes like awww you dont have it?...-______- then i was like YES I HAVE IT, ANSWER ME THEN I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU. then he finally answer why hes always so "quiet" when he go out w/ me...and guess what? its the MOST lamest answer i've ever heard!! i was just like wtf? after he told me. and the "keroppi watch" ..

• .(another story): so you guys all know that few months ago mcdonalds have like those sanrio watches. yep. he WANTED the keroppi one, but couldnt get it, cuz they ran out. so i've been helping him to get one! and apparently my SISTER had one. so i beg my sister can i have it. but shes keeping it, then i decided to wait, cuz she obviously cant keep it FOREVER and will eventually give it to me. and i was waiting for a loonnggg time, she finally gave it to me. :]

• and now back to that story: after he told me why hes always quiet, hes like SO...KEROPPI WATCH? HEHEHE YOU GONNA GIVE IT TO ME NOW!?...and i was like. no. i'm keeping it for now. and HE start going all "bleeehhhh" on me. and he got MAD! and i was like ok what.the.hell!? do you REALLY want that MORE than anything!?!? and hes like YES!! DUHHH OF COURSE! and i was like LOL yea i bet even more than me? and hes like YES KEROPPI IS MY WIFE!........-______-okay, little boy, keroppi is a dude. cant be your wife! ...and i like keroppi too!! why cant i keep it for now, then i'll give it to you later!! sheeesh he just cant wait!!! then hes like FINE I'LL BUY IT OFF ON EBAY, I WAS GONNA GET IT BEFORE, BUT I HAD TO WAIT FOR YOU -___- "had to?" no one told you to wait..... -__- okaayy sorry guys if you get confused between the story, but yea you get the point, we always have our own little STUPID fight!...

• and another thing about this little boy....keep in mind, hes 21! and act younger than me -__-, and he also likes to turn things around on me. like i can NEVER get mad at him, i'm apparently "not allowed" ...-__- and when I'M actually mad and pissed at him, he goes like "WHATTHEFUCK!? WHY ARE YOU MAD AT ME, I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG" and HE ended up being mad at me, and i'm the "not mad" one....and i ended up have to say sorry. man i just think being single has more....happiness? and WHO CARES if you cant or are not able to share your "happiness" to your loved ones, you can share it to your FRIENDS!!

• ...so shout out to all the single people out there. BEING SINGLE IS THE HAPPIEST THING ON EARTH!!! too much stress to be in a relationship. sometimes i wanna get out of it. like sometimes he makes me wanna STRANGLE HIM AND KILL HIM!! ughh!!