i'm back to posting!!

lol i know i havent blog for a long time, but i was reading all your blog silently :] hehe like your guardian angel? lol i dunno. but I'VE BEEN SO CRAZILY OBSESSED WITH THESE BUNNY EARS COVER FOR IPHONE 4!!! AHHHH WHY CANT THEY MAKE ONE FOR HTC INSPIRE!? i want one so badly!!! these are so cute and i see them EVERYWHERE!!!

Dream High

i totally recommend this korean drama, DREAM HIGH!! i love it so much. The story touches me and its very heart felt and inspiring. because it teaches you lessons and motivate you to chase your dream :]

and this quote from it touches me:

“Sometimes when you feel people are moving on faster and better than you whether its career or relationships. Remember than by moving slower it means you can see much more around you and understand your surroundings better than those who rush ahead"

and it’s about 6 musically talented students who enter a Performing Arts school hoping to chase their dreams and debut as successful singers. :] i hope you guys watches it during your free time, SUMMER!!! :] and enjoy

Is this the end?

I've been thinking alot lately.. will we be together FOREVER? like our WHOLE life? i don't know, at first i thought it would be yes, but now, i don't really know anymore. You do know that i'm a jealous type and i tend to get jealous really easily...and your fb status yesterday made me so pissed, and i didn't know what to do. Some of me want to hold on to you tighter, some of me say.. 算了...karen, 放手啦.

越看你我就眼火爆!!!

I know some of you will think i'm immature for thinking about this too much, or i'm overthinking. I know what i'm doing and i maybe be "immature" but thats just how i am, no one is gonna change that, YOU'RE not gonna change that.

and i realize having a boyfriend isnt that great at all, you will feel hurt ....almost everyday. and youre life will be MORE like a roller coaster. Some day you'll be so happy and love him more and more everyday, like when you go out, it's the BEST day of your life. And you can not go on a day without missing him. and some day, you will feel mad/pissed/sad when you see him.

typical sunday~

It's sundayyy!!! and its a boring day for me. haha. sunday is my boring stay home day :] so what do you guys usually do on a sunday? :] are you all ready for another week of school? i'm not HAHAHA well to you all high schooler, THE LAST WEEK FOR YOU GUYS!!! hehe excited?..well make it last and be happy and cherish your LAST WEEK IN HIGH SCHOOL!! cuz you're all gonna miss it!! and of course I MISS it! and i hope i will be able to go to your graduation :] hehe and i will miss you guys when you go to college!!! CINDY LEE!! :] we DEFINITELY need to hang out before college. and ....CHARLES!! -___- we need to make another plan, THIS TIME, DONT CANCEL IT!!! :[

CHILD MEMORIES~

soo...lets talk about child memories :] hehe, i know EVERYONE, as a child, they like to go shopping at TOYS R US!!! and i remember me asking my dad..."why is the 'R' backward?" LOL!! then i start writing my 'R' backward, and got yelled at -__- ahahahaha.

hmm speaking of TOYS R US...the one on GALE is closingg!! and moving to puente hills!! and so my dad said lets go shopping there to see whats on sale. To be honest, i havent been in there for YEARS!!!....DECADE!!...FOREVER!! so when i went in there, i had this feelings...a feeling of home, a warm feeling that i havent felt for a long long time. i miss it. and i was having a bad day that day too, but somehow, going in that store, my bad feelings just went away and replaced with happiness and joy. It reminds me how much i love TOYS R US!!! and i took alot of pictures hehe...

My boy~

-you always make me sad

-you never say "i love you"

-you dont show your feelings that well

-you always say you'll do anything to make me happy

-sometimes i feel like do YOU even love me?

BUT.....

-you can be the sweetest guy in the whole world!! even though its rare to see you say sweet stuff. but when you do it, it brightened up my whole world and it can last forever!!

-when im sad, just a simple "i love you more" from you will instantly change me into happy hyper mode.

-even though you dont show that you love me, i can feel that you really care deeply inside.

-you DO love me, and i can see that you do when you tell me "sometimes i dont want you to be my gf, because i want to keep you forever and gf/bf don't last"

-your "rawr" means i love you :]

and to my friends: i just want you guys to know, i'll always be there for you. a little song for you hehehe, i will make a cover of it!! :] once i learn it...gimme 3 days

i am back.

yes. i'm back and now i will blog EVERY single day!! I've been feeling down lately ever since i watched that wongfu video about "strangers again" ...it made me think alot. so much. and i cried when watching it too. because the video can related to everyone when they're in a relationship, there are many stages, the first will always be happy and so much love, then it slowly begin to fade away and do your own things. and in between, you will always have your fight. Anyways thats not the reason why i was feeling down....COINCIDENTLY his name is "Josh" too!!! and it just made me cry even HARDER!! cuz he and i do always fight alot, most of you know and i told you guys before, sometimes we never had a normal conversation with out arguing with each other and we never break up, we just ignore each other for a while and take a break. And that day, he watched it too, and he went online and showed me the video and hes like watch it. and i was like i already did. then he was silent for at least 20 mins. and he finally say something, "lets not fight anymore, i dont want us to be like this" ...from that moment i dont know if i'm suppose to be happy or sad..then he went on saying "i've had this happen to me alot, and i dont want it to happen again, and it sometimes made me think that i shouldnt get a gf" then i was sad and did not talk at all, because he went on talking about his ex. Then he keep texting me to ask if i were okay, i didnt tell him whats wrong i just told him not to worry about it. and hes like "its because of what i said right?..i'm sorry, i've over it already" :] well anyways...i know this doesnt make sense LOOL I'M not making any sense now, i'm falling asleep from doing all those math homeworks LOL ahhhh!!! so blogging is my break time :] hehe

and another story that bothers me the most...and it also related to this.
sorry i havent been telling you guys about whats happening at school. recently theres this guy in my math class...he ALWAYS talks to me, and he would ALWAYS text me like 24/7, i'm not even kidding, its like he doesnt even sleep!!! and he told me he likes me, he knows that i have a boyfriend, cuz i always talk about him, and he said he doesn't care!! o.O what does that mean?!!?!? and to be honest, i think i'm slowly starting to fall for him too...ahhhhhh what the heckkk am i doing!?!? i dont cheat, and never plan to cheat and never want to. but i really don't know what to do. i didnt tell you guys earlier cuz i didnt want you guys to think i'm a cheater, i'm really not!! but i feel like what i'm doing is wrong, cuz the way he talks, it makes me want to flirt, its tempting me to flirt with him, cuz hes a sweet guy!!! to be honest, the SWEETEST GUY i've ever met, and the nicest too. and he actually cares about me EVEN more than my boyfriend~!! and i really dont wanna hurt them both :[ what should i do?!!?

I miss you :]

To my two wonderful friend: Amy and Pearl!! I miss you guys soooooo much! and i havent hang out w/ you guys for a super SUPER long time now...since spring semester start. i have my class, you have yours, our schedule does not match. :[ i hope we can catch up one day again!!! and for some reason, my phone is being retarded -___- it sometimes dont recieve texts, but don't worry i'm getting a new phone...probably next month? :] YEEEUHHH!! HTC INSPIRE!! :] and i hope we can all hang out again to make up for my bday hang out :] since you guys couldnt come :'[

Questions.

so most of you knows he's always making me sad, and you ALWAYS ask, "so why do you love him karen?" ...and i always say, i just do, i cant explain it...and well here it is:

"love isnt when you can name a million things you love about the person"..."it is when you CAN'T even find a words to describe how you feel about them" :]

so if YOU can say reasons why you LOVE that person, then you dont really love them truly...

you can only love them, because there are many things you cant describe or say WHY you love them, you just do, its a special feelings you feel inside when you see him/her.

Love/ Hate relationship

So I am pretty sure we are in a "love/hate" relationship. why? well look at it this way, our conversation everday always ended up arguing and fighting, then it eventually....SLOWLY go back to "aww i'm sorry, i love you" . and this picture explains us PERFECTLY!!

My 19th~ and my little boy.

First of all, thanks EVERYONE for coming :] i was REALLY happy when i see you guys, it just reminds me back in the days in high school where i can see all my friends. but even tho i know some of you cannot make it, but it's okay. THERE'S still time :] and i realized i havent been blogging for a long time. sorry. i did not have time to do it, i've been feeling eeither sad or just dont feel good or sick. i've been getting yucky germs this past month.

• haha. so on to the "sad/pissed/mad" part...lol sorry cindy i was gonna tell you that day, but ehh i cant say it in person cuz i'll cuss the WHOLE time!!! cuz it makes me SOO MAD!! so here it is: So WHO KNOWS THIS GUY CAN BE SO KIDDY!! he always have to pick a fight with me, doesnt matter how STUPID it is! i ALWAYS have to say sorry, even tho hes wrong. and i dont mind saying sorry cuz i told myself..would i rather wait until he say hes sorry which takes him FOREVER to realize hes wrong and he wont talk to me. OR would i rather say SORRY and he'll talk to me again?...and i know we had our "little" break EVERY TIME!! its almost like every single day when we talk we'll always end up fighting and arguing....DUDE WHY!?!? WHAT.THE.HELL!?!?!? and this guy...or should i say LITTLE BOY, LOVES KEROPPI ....AND APPARENTLY......MORE THAN HIS GIRLFRIEND!! DUDE WHATTHEFUCCCKKK?? so heres the story of our "little" fight.

• we were talking like always...and he wanted to take me out that day, but i cant go out!! cuz according to my dad, i went out too much these days, so he wants me to stay home that day. then he start getting all like "WHAT.THE.HELL!! YOU NEVER HAVE TIME FOR ME".....dude CHILL OUT! I HAVE FUCKING SCHOOL! AND YOU DONT, SO I HAVE TO STUDY AND HOMEWORKING!! -___- and HE IS ALWAYS QUIET when we go out..like i gotta keep talking and talking. and i am TIRED OF IT! i've been holding it for a long time!!! its been 4 FUHREAKIN MONTHS! if you're shy...then WHAT.THE.HECK!! 4 MONTHS and still shy!? its not the first time we went out together wtf!?. and so i couldnt hold it in anymore and told him and ask him why hes always so quiet. and he CHANGED THE SUBJECT guess what he says?! "keroppi watch?? :]" ........okay dude WHAT.THE.HECK!? DONT CHANGE THE FUCKING SUBJECT!! so i was like ...what? dont TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT..and hes like awww you dont have it?...-______- then i was like YES I HAVE IT, ANSWER ME THEN I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU. then he finally answer why hes always so "quiet" when he go out w/ me...and guess what? its the MOST lamest answer i've ever heard!! i was just like wtf? after he told me. and the "keroppi watch" ..

• .(another story): so you guys all know that few months ago mcdonalds have like those sanrio watches. yep. he WANTED the keroppi one, but couldnt get it, cuz they ran out. so i've been helping him to get one! and apparently my SISTER had one. so i beg my sister can i have it. but shes keeping it, then i decided to wait, cuz she obviously cant keep it FOREVER and will eventually give it to me. and i was waiting for a loonnggg time, she finally gave it to me. :]

• and now back to that story: after he told me why hes always quiet, hes like SO...KEROPPI WATCH? HEHEHE YOU GONNA GIVE IT TO ME NOW!?...and i was like. no. i'm keeping it for now. and HE start going all "bleeehhhh" on me. and he got MAD! and i was like ok what.the.hell!? do you REALLY want that MORE than anything!?!? and hes like YES!! DUHHH OF COURSE! and i was like LOL yea i bet even more than me? and hes like YES KEROPPI IS MY WIFE!........-______-okay, little boy, keroppi is a dude. cant be your wife! ...and i like keroppi too!! why cant i keep it for now, then i'll give it to you later!! sheeesh he just cant wait!!! then hes like FINE I'LL BUY IT OFF ON EBAY, I WAS GONNA GET IT BEFORE, BUT I HAD TO WAIT FOR YOU -___- "had to?" no one told you to wait..... -__- okaayy sorry guys if you get confused between the story, but yea you get the point, we always have our own little STUPID fight!...

• and another thing about this little boy....keep in mind, hes 21! and act younger than me -__-, and he also likes to turn things around on me. like i can NEVER get mad at him, i'm apparently "not allowed" ...-__- and when I'M actually mad and pissed at him, he goes like "WHATTHEFUCK!? WHY ARE YOU MAD AT ME, I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG" and HE ended up being mad at me, and i'm the "not mad" one....and i ended up have to say sorry. man i just think being single has more....happiness? and WHO CARES if you cant or are not able to share your "happiness" to your loved ones, you can share it to your FRIENDS!!

• ...so shout out to all the single people out there. BEING SINGLE IS THE HAPPIEST THING ON EARTH!!! too much stress to be in a relationship. sometimes i wanna get out of it. like sometimes he makes me wanna STRANGLE HIM AND KILL HIM!! ughh!!

Heart broken in many pieces.

I guess we shouldn't even have met OR talk.

you cant cure a broken heart

depression is not curable

:'[

love.

so i decide to share this song :] its a good song!!

Happy Birthday Josh and happy st. patricks day :]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSHIE!!!!!

HEHEHE

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

It's March!

It's March! and i havent blog for a long time! sorry i didn't have any time to blog, I've been to busy with homeworks, tests and stuff. HECK I'M TAKING 5 CLASSES! :[

So i'm guessing this year, i havent been too excited about my birthday coming up LOL. i've always been excited every year when its MARCH 1! BECAUSE MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP! haha, but somehow this year, i dont even notice its already march LOL. So now this reminds me. MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP!!! hehe sorry. yep MARCH 30TH dont forget! :]

and its also my hunny's birthday...coming up this thurs, march 17th hehehe i hope i can celebrate with him. I was thinking of ditching class just to celebrate with him. but i dont know if he even have time LOL...hmmm we'll see :]

so...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EVERYONE, WHOS BIRTHDAY IS ON MARCH! :]
and somehow i'm not that excited about turning 19 this year hahaha. maybe cuz we're getting older and start to not care anymore. remember when we're young we would tell the whole world ITS MY BIRTHDAY? lol yep.. that does not happen anymore now haha.

good news! :]

hehehe!! so i'm happy today, he's not moving to victorville anymore! :]
moving to pomona! EVEN CLOSER THAN ONTARIO!! :] yeeeeeuhhhh!!! <3<3

我愛你，不要離開我。

We were fine today..talking as usual. But then you brought up that subject again......you HAVE to move, probably this week. I dont want you to. I really really dont. I want you to stay so badly, i even decided to ask my parents about letting you move in with me o.O i really did....my parents were even surprised, they were like "maybe, is he gonna pay?"

And i asked, when you moved, are you gonna come back to visit me? you said...to much gas. That made me cry aLOT!

do you REALLY want to leave me?? after what we've been through?...i really don't.

but i guess this is it.

What makes me happy :]

Do you guys ever think about the meaning of holding hands? It's usually the first steps of relationships,..maybe before asking each other to be your gf/bf. Think about it this way, i know we all did this, when we were a little girl/boy in elementary, we usually tell the boy that we like them, and if they like you back you'll be like holding hands with them, right?

And when you hold hands with someone, its like telling them "I like you, I trust you, I'd like to show everyone that you mean something to me". A small gesture with big meaning, and a small gesture that can also make you happy when you're sad. When you're having a bad day or feels sad, he grabs your hand and interlaces their fingers w/ your fingers, and everything to you suddenly feels ohkay. Its just like holding hands warms your whole body up with joy. I know some of you might not think holding hands is a BIG DEAL, but it is to me, it makes me happy, and it just suddenly brightened up my day, and if you CAN'T do this simple gesture, then just forget it. I guess i dont mean that much to you.

I'm not saying you dont do it, I know you do it, its just sometimes you don't...or maybe you forgot?

leaving me?

What I REALLY hate...last night you just made me SO happy, it's like the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, and it made me realized that I did the right choice to give you a second chance, cause you're really treating me BETTER than before.

but then after that you told me you're gonna have to move far far away from here...VICTORVILLE!? where the heck is that?!!? after you told me you're gonna move there, because thats the only place where you can stay, cause you cant stand your parents from being so messed up, seriously...if your parents are my parents, i wouldnt be able to stand it for SO LONG like you, i would move out in the first place, but YOU'RE MOVING SO FAR AWAY!!! what about me?...so you're just gonna leave me? I felt so sad when you told me that, my mood just went down and i didnt want to talk to you again. Why do you have to do this?? made me like you even MORE now and you're gonna probably have to MOVE out to a far far place? From that moment, i wish i can tell you, move in with me, i really want to...but i dont know what my parents will say...do i really have to go through this heartbreak moment again? after I've been through so many times? I thought you're suppose to fall in love 3 times and the 4th one will be the one. You're the 4th one i fell in love with. I thought this heartbreak moment would end and happiness will start from you, i guess i'm wrong. :[

No matter what, Don't say goodbye to me...